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Hospitality: A Relationship of Giving and Receiving

Just what is hospitality?

When we think about hospitality and the bible, we generally think about Martha and Mary hosting Jesus. And, we generally believe that Mary got it right. The truth is, neither one of them got it quite right! Why you might ask?

It is helpful to remember the origin and definition of biblical hospitality. In ancient Near East times, nomads practiced hospitality in the desert. A stranger would arrive at their camp, and it was common practice… even expected… that they would take in this stranger overnight, feed them, give them a place to sleep and care for them. In exchange, the stranger would share news with them… things that were going on in the world around them. Both contributions in the relationship were of equal value. The host depended on the stranger to stay informed and up to date on the news. Remember, no cell phones, no internet, no snail mail. This was it. It was a relationship of mutual trust and respect.

So hospitality is both giving and receiving…

There is a reaching out through simple acts of service, but also a drawing in of mutual gifts and surprises.  Neither Mary nor Martha got it quite right, but Mary, according to Jesus chose the best part of hospitality.

Martha welcomed Jesus into her home by cooking and cleaning and sheltering Jesus and the others… but Mary, took time to engage and receive the news they had to share. Together, Mary and Martha would have been exemplary hosts to Jesus… but Martha mistakenly thought that it was only about giving and doing rather than receiving. She missed the gift of the stranger… the news Jesus came to share.

In a time where churches everywhere need to grow, the practice of hospitality has never been more important. And we Americans are not so great at it. We tend to be Marthas… doing and giving… but not really good at receiving the gifts or news that the stranger brings.

We can practice hospitality both individually as well as corporately.

In both cases, there is always a mutual exchange. The trouble is, most churches are not ready for a mutual exchange. And yet, the love of God is generative… it changes things… and as we open our church to the stranger bearing new gifts and new expressions of love and worship, we need to ask ourselves if we are ready for whatever shape that may take.  There could be potential of deep hurt and injustice if we resist.

“(Hospitality) is a choice. We choose to reject suspicion as the first reaction to a stranger. We choose to minister along side of others rather than to them. We choose to let go of some of our own control when we meet strangers and when we interact with those we’ve known for years. We choose to expect surprises from strangers – good surprises that come from God.”– Michele Hershberger, A Christian View of Hospitality: Expecting Surprises

“Airbnb has proven that hospitality, generosity, and the simple act of trust between strangers can go a long way.”   – Joe Gebbia, CEO Airbnb

I believe that churches can and will grow as we practice this kind of hospitality. But, we need to be ready when God brings new people through our doors to receive the gifts they bring. We need to let go of our fears, our suspicions and our need to control and open our hearts to the wonderful surprises that they bring. So how do we work at this? How do we flex our spiritual muscles when it comes to hospitality?

Here are a few things we can try:

As a family:

Invite someone to your home for a simple meal. Try preparing as much as you can ahead of time so that you can spend most of your time listening to their stories and getting to know them better. After they leave, take time as a family to name what you appreciated most about your guest. Do you think that you were enriched some how ? Did you grow in anyway? Did you learn something new?

As an individual:

Make a special effort to welcome a new neighbor or a new colleague at work. Try taking them out for coffee or simply drop off a housewarming gift. Go with the idea of getting to know them and finding something you can appreciate about them. After your time together, offer a simple prayer to God thanking God for the gift in that person.

Just Remember:

Jesus once told a tale of sheep and goats. One group was successful in following Jesus the other group, well… it wasn’t. According to Jesus, the only difference between the two groups is what they did and didn’t do. One group was able to practice hospitality and one wasn’t… and that was important. Because Jesus told them, “Whenever you did it (Hospitality) for any of my people, no matter how unimportant they seemed, you did it for me.” – Matthew 25:40

 

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Gratitude: Giving Thanks Activites

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thessalonians 5: 17-18

Last week we talked about how hard praying without ceasing might seem… especially when we are tied to a particular form of prayer. This week, we are looking at gratitude… being grateful in all things. That might be just as hard as praying without ceasing, right? And yet, we know that gratitude is not only good for us spiritually but it also has scientifically proven health benefits. Gratitude helps us sleep better, suffer less from depression and generally improves our overall health… just to name a few.

So why is it so hard?

Gratitude isn’t a character trait we are born with. We have to flex our spiritual muscles and work at it!  Here are a few simple things you can try at home:

As an individual:

Try keeping a gratitude journal each day. Simply jot down the little blessings in your or day that might go unnoticed. At the end of the day take time to thank God for each thing on your list… it doesn’t need to be complicated and simple thanks to God will work.

When you are having trouble feeling grateful:

Take some time and remember times in your life that you were keenly aware of God’s presence and provision. Perhaps there were times that you felt special care from other people. Try making a list of all of the God moments and grace filled moments you have experienced in your life. Ponder how much of those things you actually earned? Allow yourself to be filled with gratitude to God. Try thinking of a way to express that gratitude in some measurable way. Notice how that makes you feel and how it strengthens your love and appreciation for God.

As a family:

Try having a thank-you morning around the table. Encourage your kids to find as many things as they can to be thankful for. Let it be fun! When one person shares something they are thankful for, the rest of the family responds with three “thank you’s.” It might go like this: For Saturday cartoons, thank you, thank you, thank you… for sleeping in, thank you, thank you, thank you. For pancakes and chocolate milk, thank you, thank you.

Birthday Bonus:

As my children turned 13, we came up with a birthday ritual to mark that special transition into their teenage years. At their special birthday dinner, the family would go around the table and name something they were grateful for about them. What started out to be a little challenging for my children turned out to be a rich time of blessing and affirmation as we each expressed our gratitude for the special person God had created them to be. Try it for any occasion. You may be surprised by the power and depth of meaning that happens when we express gratitude and affirmation for another!

 

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Prayer: Tuning In Activities

Sunday we talked about the many ways to pray. Often, we are very good at talking, or making requests, but not so good at listening.Here are some ways to practice tuning in to God:

As a family:

Take a walk, a hike or just find a comfortable place to sit outdoors with the idea of tuning in to God. Give your children the task of finding something outside that reminds them of God. At the end of the time, take some time to dialog as a family around the table. Let each person share what they noticed and why. Ponder together what God might have been saying to them as they “tuned in”. Offer a short prayer of thanks for each story and what God taught you during that time.

As an individual:

Try making a routine activity in your day into a time of listening and tuning into God like mowing the grass, folding the laundry, or preparing a meal. Be creative!  Make a note of the things that you notice, or thoughts that seemed significant, or things that grabbed your attention that reminded you of God. At the end of your day, spend time thanking God for the little revelations you received. Ask God to show you if there is more God would like to teach you through these things.

Centering Prayer:

Does your mind drift when you try to pray or listen to God? Try this simple way of praying. Find a comfortable place to sit and prayerfully dwell in God’s presence with an open heart. Make sure that you set aside some time where you will not be interrupted. Turn off noise makers. Now pick a word to focus on that symbolizes your desire to tune into God’s presence; like light, love, shepherd, rock, Jesus… just to name a few. As you sit quietly with your eyes closed, focus on that one word… as thoughts, worries or anxiety arises; gently turn your thoughts back to your sacred word. Allow the Spirit of God to draw you into a place of deeper communion.