sometimes it is just hard to see

Sometimes it is hard for me to see this God reality… especially when I am keenly aware of the war and violence that is currently happening in Egypt. Or, when I am aware of the suffering and unexplained tragedies and illnesses that my church community experiences. Violence, crime, murder is very present in my living room when I watch the morning news… I do wonder, where is this God reality? How can I see? Sometimes it is not as tragic as that… sometimes it is as simple as my own self-consciousness and inhibitions that keep me from seeing the God sightings.

And yet, God is patient with me. He leaves me little signs… hints of his presence all around.

Blogging about Elisha’s  prayer to see beyond the present circumstances into the reality of God’s presence   kind of stayed with me the rest of the day. Shortly after posting that entry, I had lunch with a group of some of our church members who live in a retirement community. We reminisced about a lot of things. How we have experienced God’s presence when we can’t sleep, ways that we can be more playful, change… especially changes that involve the telephone and technology and change that involves their bodies… some good changes and some hard changes. We acknowledged that sometimes it is hard to look beyond our circumstances to see how God is in that too.

One of the group members who is currently under hospice care and is thinking about the changes she is experiencing spoke up, “It is hard for me to think about the future… when I close my eyes… I don’t see anything.” A moment of sacred silence slipped by and there I was with Elisha’s prayer. I told her that I would pray Elisha’s prayer for her, that God would open her eyes to see the spiritual places beyond her circumstances… just as he had done for Jacob and the ladder from heaven in an ordinary field… just as he had done for Elisha’s servant who even though he was surrounded by an army and possible death, God opened his eyes to see the heavenly chariots of fire that were present as well. Our eyes met for a second… and I knew by the softening in her eyes that it is was a good thing to pray for… A quiet nod of acceptance. It is hard sometimes to see the heavenly in our all too real earthly bodies… this is a thing that only God can do.

“O God, quicken to life every power within me, that I may lay hold on eternal things. Open my eyes that I may see; give me acute spiritual perception; enable me to taste Thee and know that Thou art good. Make heaven more real to me than any earthly thing has ever been. Amen” A.W. Tozer -The Pursuit of God

Are there ladders in you life?

I woke up at my usual time to meet God this morning, with a hot cup of coffee in my favorite mug and the bathrobe my mom gave me for Christmas a couple of years back. I found myself in the story of Jacob’s Ladder… I instantly found myself humming the tune of a childhood Chorus “We are climbing Jacob’s Ladder”… soldiers of the cross…hmm… I am not sure I really like the idea of singing about soldiers these days as I am aware of the war and unrest that my brothers and sisters are experiencing around the world. Read more

Coincidental or could this really be God?

“Coincidental , or could this really be God?” I asked myself as I stared in disbelief at my Dove Candy wrapper. Just yesterday, God gave me a profound invitation to play with Him during my time of centering prayer. I saw us playing on the beach, making snow angels and skipping… I felt so carefree and lighthearted in the vision. As soon as the prayer time was over, it occurred to me how difficult the concept of playing was for me.

My childhood was not very playful. My dad died when I was only eleven years old and this tragedy turned my innocent world upside down. As I think back, the last time I remember truly playing was just before he died. Perhaps his death initiated me into the adult world of responsibility too soon.

As I reflected further, I realized that many times, maybe because I am a firstborn, I feel the need to figure everything out ahead of time. Instead of delighting in the day and its surprises, I can become regimented and guarded. Delighting and playing are indeed a stretch for me.

Later on that day, I found myself in a meeting where we were talking about the wonderful things God is doing in our church; a fresh movement of the spirit. I noticed that I along with others felt the need to organize it, theologize about it, anticipate the outcome and plan it. At that moment, I remembered the poem I had written to capture the vision from my prayer. I pulled it out along with a piece of Dove Chocolate. I ruminated over the invitation to delight in this new thing God was doing… to be playful. At that point I glanced down to read what my Dove Chocolate Wrapper had to say on the inside… “Forget  the rules and play by your heart” Coincidence, maybe, but the child inside of me that is learning how to play thinks it may just be God.

Finding the place

Today, we may not be able fill our cars with camping gear and head for the trees when we feel overwhelmed, but we can with practice find that place of meeting within us.

I’ll never forget the time we were camping in a remote town in Sicily. We were needing some rest from our work in the Mennonite Churches there so we had  packed the car and headed for the trees. This particular morning, my husband, Harry, had decided to purchase some cream-filled doughnuts for us to enjoy for breakfast. Our youngest son, only three at the time, didn’t want his so Harry ate that one too. It turns out that he became violently ill with some potent bacteria growing in the cream… a risk that you sometimes take dwelling in remote villages..  Read more

Wondering

There are times in my life when I feel full of life and inspiration… where I feel connected to something greater than myself. That sense of connection can be directive and generative… creative fuel for this thing we do called life.

There are other times when I feel stagnant, lonely, lost and disconnected. I long for meaning again. I long to reconnect.

Abraham experienced similar things as he tried to follow the Most High God. He faced familial challenges, disappointments, disillusion, and loneliness. It seems that during this time, he had a habit of returning to a special place; the great trees of Mamre. This was a place where he heard God … just being there reoriented him and seemed to help him reenter the story where he had left off.

We all need places of reorientation… places and memories that help us connect to the greater story that God is weaving with our lives. When was the last time you felt part of the great story God is telling the universe?